Shearsman 53

Rupert M. Loydell

 

The Architecture of Memory


'There are exactly the same things in a room at night
as there are in the day time; it's just that you can't see them'
- Arturo Pérez-Reverte, The Flanders Panel


What is a man supposed to do?
I think that faith is strong in me
but it is not especially useful
for getting from one place to another.

I favour conjecture and counterpoint,
am opposed to clearly defined structures.
There are no answers to most questions,
no such thing as being sure.

If I am ever in a state of total conviction,
attempting to embrace conclusions,
please remind me only gestures exist.
How fragile and short-lived the truth is.

 

*

 

I imagine I can spot doubt a mile off:
curved surfaces with undue distortions.
I really do hate writing poems,
swing between words like a confused needle.

Why do some of us love nothing
so much as complex nothingness?
Poetry is a simple instrument
that breaks the continuous flow,

part of a carefully constructed system
of abstract symbols. Doubt and distrust
seem just as true; interpretative biases
are inevitable. What lies we tell.

*

Writing itself is a process of discovery.
It can be read as marks printed on paper
or heard as long and short notes.
There are ways of using repetition.

The syntax and grammar of a spoken tongue
propels the reader through the landscape
by seductive whispering in the ear.
There are ways of using repetition.

I posit a world beyond measurement.
We are a wonderful paradox
whose meaning escapes interpretation.
There are ways of using repetition.

*

Experience and quotation intersect.
Whatever attentive reader
might loose the lightning,
I acknowledge my debts right now.

We are discussing the individual words,
cannot crack the code; the pictograph
is the substance of communication,
phantom pain after the loss of a limb.

We can be moved by the memory:
birds and women conjoined in stone,
swollen symbols of fertility,
paired beneath blessing hands.

*

Mystical vocabulary brings
propensity for astonishment.
Time seems to run out
with nagging persistence.

Voyages into abstraction
must be documented:
plot the position of
these nameless countries;

make the mute articulate;
sort out music from the sound.
I want to insist on experience,
call this state of being wonder.

*

I sometimes never know
which part of my poem is yours.
The whole mix of self & search
arrives over forgotten airwaves.

I could make these four-line stanzas
quirky, irregular and sensuously inert,
send jargon to landfill and recontextualise.
The urinal might become a fountain.

Signs have a history of changing meaning:
in old maps the compass points
were often referred to as winds.
I may be charged but I ain't moved.

*

I am not part of the circle
although every game I ever played
stressed the loop, the elaborate
meandering of imagination.

I sense you aren't entirely sure:
the shadow as well as the silhouette
must be dealt with, there should be
at least a faint tremor of sense.

Observe, interpret and experience.
Notice the faded disturbance of darkness,
the unforeseen movement of light.
Language is the only thing in the world.

 

Copyright © Rupert M. Loydell, 2002


Rupert Loydell runs the Exeter small press, Stride and its associated webzine. His latest collection appears shortly from Arc. He is also a painter, specialising in abstracts. Some examples of this work can be found at the Stride magazine site.