1

Sent to the Carribean by train. Afraid of the unknown. A river full of red orange juice

2

Climbing down steep steel stairs

3

A bag full of small sharp knives is emptied on my head.

4

I wear a wig to hide my baldness and sunglasses to hide my burnt eyebrows.

5

My eyes are covered. I smash mirrors.

6

I have black hair, wear a red dress and lipstick smeared around my mouth.

7

A friend walks through streets with me, familiar and confusing at the same time. Are we in Vienna or in New York? Everything is black and red.

8

Somebody comes up from behind and hugs me. Don't know who it is, but it makes me feel warm and protected.

9

I walk in a landscape of walls and fences. After every wall I hope for open space, but there is another wall.

10

My flat is empty. I am nowhere. I look for myself in favourite places. Friends look for me. Waking up I have no memory of disappearing.

11

In Heathrow. Which train. Which terminal. Going where. Buying ticket. Not finding it. Where am I? Who are you? Where are we going?

12

Smothered under lots of blankets. They keep falling on my face.

13

Everywhere around me shades of blue. Sea, sky, everything bathed in light.

Copyright © Evelyn Holloway, 2004.